Swipe Wise: A Practical Guide to Today’s Dating Apps
If you have been single at any point in the past two decades, you have probably tried online dating at least once…or twice, or maybe more. Online dating has become one of the primary ways that people meet. Most aspects of our lives involve technology, so it makes sense that dating would be too!
With so many people turning to online dating to try their luck at love, what could be the problem? Unfortunately, online dating isn’t as simple as a simple swipe right or left. Maybe you’re about to give up on the prospect of finding someone online or you haven’t explored the idea yet. In either case, here’s a practical guide that I have curated to help you in your journey of finding love.
Know What You’re Looking For Before You Sign-Up
To save yourself headaches and frustration in the future, try to have an idea of what you are looking for in a future partner. Many people turn to online dating out of loneliness, boredom, or pressure from all circles to be partnered up.
Some key questions to ask yourself are:
- Am I emotionally available right now?
- What type of connection am I seeking? Is it casual? Long-term?
- What do I value in life and in turn, what should this person value?
Stepping into online dating can be a daunting task, but going into it with the intention of knowing what you want will help prevent any mismatches in personalities, even if you are attracted to the other person!
Show the Real You
It is all to easy to create a social media profile or dating profile to reflect someone who is perfect or who has their life completely together. While that can be tempting, it’s best to create a profile that shows off who you truly are.
Your goal in online dating should not be to impress every single person out there who comes across your profile. Instead, it’s to attract the people who may be right for you. Be sure to include a variety of photos in natural lighting and a biography that tells the short story of who you are what you value most in life.
Chemistry Matters, But Emotional Maturity Is Important
- Dating, in general, can be hard enough to determine if someone matches your emotional maturity. Add in online dating, when everybody puts their best face forward – it can feel like a complete game until you get to know someone. Thankfully, across the board, there are some green AND red flags to pay attention to right from the beginning. Some green flags to pay attention to are:
- Consistent communication
- Putting in effort without any pressure
- Asking genuine questions that go beyond the surface
- Respecting boundaries
Some red flags to pay attention to in the early stages of talking to someone:
- Love-bombing
- Avoiding or not responding to texts
- Controlling behaviors
- Comments that are sexual in nature super early on
Take Your Time
Society puts so much pressure on people to meet certain milestones. There’s this idea, and it’s especially true when it comes to love, that you have to hit certain “marks” by a specific age. Let that all go. You are on nobody else’s timeline but your own. There might be pressure to find someone quickly, either from yourself, society, or people in your life. Maybe you’ve been single for a while, but that’s okay! We aren’t talking about finding “the one” when we say this; finding the right person for you who is compatible with you is more important than rushing anything just for the sake of it.
Protect your energy. Don’t spend countless hours scrolling through dating apps. Trust your instinct. If something feels off, it more than likely is.
If dating in this modern world is causing you anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out for teen therapy. Together, we can find ways to help you manifest the best version of yourself so that you can attract a compatible partner.